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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his behavior, rendering him highly sensitive to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have taken the label if he hadn’t already reached that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they feel a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what the term implies the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people keep it private, due to widespread prejudice linked to the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although up to 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Personal Struggles

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Even with this response – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. It’s been a process of understanding over the years which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been put forward for psychological counseling through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he says. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number